As I was taking out the trash and the recycling, changing the kitty litter, and feeding the fish this morning, I was thinking about the life I’d imagined as a full-time writer. Apparently, it came with a maid (or, perhaps, a lot less animals.) But, then I remembered that I am not, in fact, making my living as a writer. I’m not making a living at all. I’m actually mooching off my partner’s largess or small-gess, as the case may be.
The amount of money I made this past year as a writer – well, is probably more significant this year as I delivered a book and sold another, but it still isn’t near a living wage. Thing is, writing money comes in dribs and drabs. Yeah, my agent closed the deal on a low five-figure advance for the British rights to Tate’s books this past summer (whoot!), but I have yet to see _any_ of that money – and when I do, it will be broken up into tiny chunks (a little at the publication of hardback of the first title, a little bit more at the publication of the paperback, a little more at the publication in hardback of the second title… and on and on, three books worth.)
Yet, I’m living the life. Sure, I have Mason to look after, which is, without question, a full-time job – in fact, I probably write more words in fewer hours in the day than when I was traditionally employed. But, still…. I get to stay home and write (and obsess on fish, but that’s another story.)
I guess I’m thinking about all those fantasies I had before I “broke in” and/or got “over the transom.” I somehow imagined the intellectual life where dishes and mopping and making dinner didn’t figure in, really. Even when reality settled in, I still somehow figure that by the time I was staying home with Mason I’d find a way to write more than one book a year…
I wonder if anyone really lives the life I want. The one where, for eight hours, all I *have* to do is write. (Hmm, maybe that’s Kelly’s life?) I suspect that if I had that much time, I’d still find a way to waste it. Suddenly, the dishes would actually seem fun. Heck, even now when I have so little time, I still find excuses not to write (and I actually really like the process of writing, most days.) Goddess knows, that when I sit down to compose a blog or two, I often find myself off wasting times at sites like this: Serenity Personality Quiz.
I’m not sure I have anything of substance to say here, except the reality of the writing life is much different than I expected.
Not worse, just different.
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3 comments:
I've often wondered what my life would/will be like as a full-time writer. I like to imagine that my mornings would be spent at my laptop, my early afternoons would be spent working out, and my late afternoons spent doing housework, shopping, bill-paying, seeing friends, etc., and the evenings would be spent either hanging out will the husband or more writing. Of course, the fantasy is that if I were actually writing full-time I would be perpetually "on contract" and would have deadlines and stress, in which case more than four hours a day would be spent producing words.
In reality, however, the thought that I will be successful enough to warrant writing full-time scares me a bit. Sure, that's the ultimate goal, and it's part of what drives me to write each day, but still. It's a big leap of faith for me.
I hear ya. I would never have tried to be the full-time stay-at-home parent/part-time writer, if my job at the Minnesota Historical Society hadn't been downsized. That sort of brought our decision to a head. It was much SAFER to work full-time and write (even after having three novels published by a New York publishing house) than it was to think about just... *gasp*... quit.
Yanno, sometimes I think there are things that we shouldn't know about until after we make it over the transom.
Kidding, beacuse actually, I prefer knowing what I'm getting into, and knowing that I still want to get there anyway. But from all reports, even that of of the inimitable Monsieur McCullough, this ain't where the money is, so if you're here for the glory, fine, but if it's for the money, you may want to look to panning for gold, as it has a higher success rate.
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