Launch Neurosis

I am now deeply into the "nobody is even going to see that this book exists, and that means no one will buy it phase," of Broken Blade launch neurosis.

My version of launch neurosis is funny, actually, because I'm not generally susceptible to the more common imposter syndrome variation. I don't find myself thinking, "what if if nobody told me the books sucks?" Or, "people who read this are going to hate it." Or, "I'm not a real writer."

That's in part because I don't mind that some of the people who read it won't like it. There are any number of perfectly excellent books that I don't like. And it's in part due to the fact that I am confident that I have written the best book I could. I'm proud of Broken Blade, and I think that it will do well if it finds its market.

But I do find myself absolutely terrified that no one will notice the book and that it will sink without a trace before the people who might have really liked it will find it. It's really all about locus of control. I can, more or less, control how good of a book I write. I can't control how people will react to the book, and I'm okay with that. But I feel that there should be some way to make sure that people know the books exists, and the fact that there's actually very little I can do on that front drives me nuts.