Where Are My Superpowers?

I must express my deepest frustration. Okay, we're in day two of the massive solar flare. I have been, no doubt, bombarded by gamma radiation for several hours now, and, I am here to tell you, I have not yet developed ANY SUPERPOWERS. I have been robbed, my friends! Robbed! I mean, seriously, it took the Fantastic Four, like, two minutes of exposure. I would like some superpowers now.

Or at least a decent disply of northern lights.